I was thinking the same thing with the dinner plan but I was going to force the issue more. She will not be able to make it over until around dinner, so I was going to send her an email letting her know that by the time she would arrive, the kids and I would probably already be out to dinner. I do not want to give her the impression I am sitting around waiting for her. She then could call to find out where we are and come by and say hi. She will likely not do this but at least I am sending the message that my plans are not contigent upon hers. Thoughts?
My W can be very deceptive so I think when we all do spend time together, like on New Years, she is likley not being honest with the OM. She is likely just telling him she spent it with the kids. When I was in my snooping mode trying to discover if there was an A, I caught her sending an email that demonstrates this. We were all at a park for a picnic and she was in a really bad mood. The email she sent when we got home stated she was thinking about him all day and that she had taken the kids to the park, and that he would have such a wonderful time with them. I was not part of the picture. This still hurts and it has been more than a year in a half.
I know I need to accept the OM factor and move on but my competitive nature is making it hard. I think alot about how most A's die out within 6 months and the others before a year. The thing is, I do not perceive their R as an A (I know technicaly it is). They re-united in July when we seperated and when I was foolish and talked about it with her, she mentioned how they were taking things slow. Now they are already doing holliday stuff together with other family members. It just does not sound like an A but rather a real R. I guess he could have been filling the family time void for her during the hollidays.
She still has not told the kids about the OM. I plan to use the family C as leverage to delay the intro if I need to. It is selfish on my part and I am likley just delaying the inevitable but I do want to make sure the kids are in a good place.
