I also wanted to add that I am not blind to how terribly hard this process is. I know I seem very cold about this process and it took me a long time to get to that point. For many months I was a crying heap every time I had to talk to my attny about this. I was terrified. The worst "trouble" I had ever been in was a parking ticket! All of a sudden motions were being filed against me and I (or my attny) was filing motions and I just felt like my head was spinning.
I can remember sitting on my living room floor sobbing thinking F*ck It - I just wanted this to be over. It wasn't that I wanted to reconcile or I was even *that* sad about the marriage ending anymore I simply could not handle the legal stress anymore.
I sometimes wonder if I have become desensitized to the legal process in our state because once you are in the thick of it you kind of have to be. It took me a LONG time to view it as policy and procedure.
I apologize if I come across like the emotional side of it is not a big deal because IT IS! It is the BIGGEST part but after close to two years of it I sort of had to refocus how I viewed it for my own sanity.
My own experience is one of the reasons I am going back to school to study law. I want to be able to help people like my attny and his staff did for me. Not "help" as in rake somebody over the coals but to really *be* there for a person in every way during such a difficult time. I WANT to be able to say to a shattered and terrified person I will fight for you but I will also give you tissues and hugs.
I had to become tough as nails for my own sanity. I realize it is easier for me as I am done with my process and you are not.
I sometimes wonder if I should just post my entire ordeal for all to read just so it is easier to understand why I *had* to take the stance I did. Then I think it is part of my past but maybe it would help somebody else.
Anyhow, I know this is horrible and I am so sorry you have to even deal with it.
