LOL- I'm loving this- SMQ- I've only been privy to a few of your posts- but you seem to have this s*&t down. ROBX- your change in demeanor is something I'd be interested in- what did you use to accomplish this (resources) or was it just sheer motivation, anger and some guidance?
Thanks
I can't speak for anyone else but several months into the beginning of my situation while I was kissing her ass, watching the kids while she went out in the evenings to have fun with her friends and "find herself" and supplicating my wife with gifts, restaurant dinners and great attitude and behavior while she pretty much treated me like $hit, a switch finally flipped in my head (and no I'm not a robot) that said
"I'm never going to be good enough for her regardless of what I do and I'm sick of the way she treats me, I'M DONE!"
That was it.
I moved in the opposite direction.
Stopped with the gift giving, stopped being a wuss, started standing up for myself and standing up to her. It shocked her, she became angry, violent, tried to regain her position of power with me but I had enough and wouldn't take this crap anymore, no marriage is worth sacrificing your self-respect, your self-esteem, your spirit, and I knew i was just training my kids to repeat the same horrible mistakes when they eventually grew up and had relationships/marriages of their own and I couldn't face the thought of my children going through this pain. My best friend (who incidentally happens to have a pretty good marriage) gave me a kick in the ass one day, told me he was sick of the way I was being treated by my wife and to stand up for myself, it was disgusting for him to see me disrespected by her the way she had been acting towards me.
Sometimes you need someone to shake you up, wake you up about what you're doing and where you're going.
Long story, short.... the first day I stood up for myself, the energy in my body was incredible, it was similar to being electrocuted I think, being so afraid to stand up for myself against her and then doing it for the first time was crazy. It was the day I told her I was moving back home to be with my kids and I told her I wanted her to move out, I didn't care anymore. A huge argument followed but I stood my ground and I limited her responses, i told her that this was my decision and no one was going to change my mind.
