I didn't realize that it was my thread that gave you your reputation. I wish I could give you some advice, but I really don't have much to add. I really liked Gucci's post and I think your W really wants to work things out; she just really doesn't know how.
I watched "An Emotional Life" these past few nights (a mini-series on PBS). I would suggest it for anyone on this forum. Anyway, they mentioned how adaptable the human brain is, that it can physically change to handle just about any situation. However, the adaptation only occurs as a last resort. It does not begin until there is no other way out of the crisis. I think that is what Gucci was getting at. She must change, and humans tend to change only when there is no other way out. But think carefully before giving up on her completely. I read (and don't remember where) that most divorced couple's say, in retrospect, that they wished they would have worked harder on their marriage.
I wish you the best and will be hoping that your W opens up to you. That, at least, will give your marriage a fighting chance.
-T
Tristan no worries about the reputation, it's all good, I never took it personally. I especially enjoyed commenting on your thread because of a few similarities I saw between you & myself and I'm glad to hear things are moving in a positive direction with you.
That program that you watched about the human brain and how it's able to change & adapt to situations but like we've mentioned it on this forum a million times, people only change when they have to, unless they're forced to, unless they are presented with a fear of loss - with nothing to lose, why would people have to change, why would they want to voluntarily, most people wouldn't - that's just how human beings are made, we're made to adapt to our environments and we then we pretty much settle & exist until something new is presented in our existing environments that we either want to have badly or don't want to lose.
