Wife wants best of both worlds

[MHL]

I think you are moving/living in that more mature love and I think that every opportunity for her to see changes in you and be with the family unit will ultimately get her back.

When everything is out of mind or shoved to the side, we still get along great. She did ask if she could come over today and say hi to the kids.

This is the kind of interaction you read about in the success stories. Granted you initiated but she initiated the visit. The OM is a fact for you, accept it, get over it, and move forward with the business of getting your wife back. If she stops by to say hi, what will OM think?? He is not a priority, he may start to get jealous of the time she is spending with her "family". I can hear him now "Was he (you) there?". It will be hard for you b/c her presence will be like a drug and you will experience withdraw, but that is our burden.
When does she plan to get there? Will it be before dinner? If so, and if the interaction is good between the 4 of you tell her that you and the kids were going out to eat at (whereever), would she like to join you. The answer will be no thank you, of course but she will not expect it.

She still hasn't told the kids about OM right?