Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

Newmama, it's not often (or at all) that I disagree with you but I see your post below written from an emotional POV. Not the usual you. I also disagree with it 100%.

one more thing- letting the rope go is complete waste of time to BSs unless we really are ready to file for D.

I disagree entirely. I feel as if I've dropped the rope on the M, maybe not entirely on W (although dropping the rope for me means giving up caring about the WAS which in this case I think I have done - I'm not at indifference yet but at contempt at the moment). However I am no where near the D stage yet. That is going to take a lot longer for me to be able to process, accept and move on. So, I see dropping the rope as a stage in this whole process just as D is a stage (albeit the last one).

and good for those almighty transcendental (is that a word?) BSs who do that without regrets.

Do any LBS's file for D without regrets?

But come on--filing for D means waving the white flag and giving up. No mal intent for those BSs that choose this but GIVING UP/SURRENDERING is the same to me as DROPPING THE ROPE. No thank you yet.

Again I disagree entirely.

D is not about giving up. D is about recognising that you've deployed your troops the best way you can. Recognising that the battle can't be won and withdrawing to protect your troops. It's not about surrendering. Withdrawing allows you to protect yourself.

As I said above I don't see dropping the rope as the same as D.

I love my wife deeply (still unfortunately) but I want to drop the rope, for ME, not for her. D is a long way off if I can help it (although I am beginning to feel my hand is being forced)