If someone told you to go dark, (1) it was probably recommended for YOUR benefit (i.e. getting off the rollercoaster) and (2) they were probably just offering up things to consider.
Only YOU are THERE in the middle of your situation. Only YOU know the details and nuances of both your situation and the person that your wife is.
I've always thought, in general, that as long as THEY are doing the pursuing by contacting YOU, it's fine to participate and respond. Of course you are on the lookout for whether or not you are just being strung along for their advantage, but I'm inclined to think if your wife is writing you repeated, lingering messages, ignoring them is NOT sending the message you would like to send.
As for how to handle the sleepless nights, my experience is that it's part of how we slowly but surely come to grips with the situation. There ar things you can do to help the sleeping, like getting into some vigorous physical activity that wears you out, but eventually the sleeplessness will tail off. Like just about everything else with these messes, it takes time.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
