she responded immediately that she was shutting her door for a few minutes, so she listened) because I know that is important to her right now.
Remember when you had not seen your own TM & actions that day before....like I saw them and pointed it out to you? I think you might be seeing what you "want" to see with hers.
Quote:
I read it on another post recently too that pushed me over to what I did - we aren't machines, we are human, sometimes you have to do what you think is best. That's what I did.
Oh you are so right. We don't need to act like robots and there is certainly a time to show our soft side and our tender acts of concerns for other. In a troubled MR, you are too close to the problem to see how you may or may not react to something with a DB principle. Also, the LBS is desparately trying to connect and give that life line to his/her S. It is absolutely natural to respond when you see her hurting. As long as she makes a move toward you, that is exactly what you should do......respond with compassion. Some men can't seem to find balance and they go too far the other direction and act cold, mad, and some other unattractive ways in inappropriate time. It is hard for them to "get" the concept of detaching.
Just let the WAS come to you. Don't let them "use" you in order for you to enable their A. Don't allow them to cake eat. But in times of showing affection or when they are in a stitch like your W had with this employee, and she turned to you.....you handled things great at home at night. It seems to be when she's at the office during the day when you have a hard time not contacting.
You'll get better. You can do it. Don't give up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
