Well got home and spent a couple hours with S and H before going out with friends - See, I'm trying to GAL, LR! Anyhow, H was actually really positive and sweet - and I kept my mouth shut about the party. He actually brought it up and told me something mild like he didn't think he'd have all that much fun since there was a lot of fattening food and bad karaoke at last year's party. I still don't buy that it why he won't go. He made some under the breathe mention of something else - but he keeps saying he won't get into that stuff until the Legal Separation Agreement is signed. He keeps saying he doesn't want to get into anything that will flip my lid and make me tear up the agreement and threaten to take him to court.
so of course my mind starts spinning - well what he has to say must be REALLY BAD if that is what he's afraid of. Thank god for DB - my instinct would be to panic and try to get H to talk about it, but instead, I just went on my merry way to go out with friends. It kills me not to say anything but I'm staying calm. I did it, LR!
I have catastrophized in the past, so I know it might not be all that bad - perhaps just a way for him to avoid getting vulnerable, or controlling things in his childish way.
I feel so good and peaceful after being in the mountains with S that I just don't want to ruin it by bringing it up and giving him the power to upset me.
But I am DYING to know what it is!!!! Ugh. Time will tell. I hope it's not an OW or D papers. Anything else I can handle.
