Kickboxing was really fun, but pretty intense! I loved it though. Got alot of frustration out. Can't wait to go again next week.
Doesn't it feel great! I just got back from my training as well, and my hands are beat up and bleeding a bit, and my body is completely sore, but I felt so good after leaving the class I was singing to myself in the car on the ride home.
Powerful stuff! I am glad you got to experience some of that, and are ready for more!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
This is a recurring theme in most people's sitch's, including my own.
I have found the best way to deal with it is to accept that we will never know why. Just accept that.
When we are asking 'why' we are placing our thoughts on someone else, we are not living in our 'present', when we should have our thoughts on us right now.
When your asking why about someone, accept you may not ever know why, and return your focus to you, your GAL activities and your daughter.
I have become much more peaceful when I do this, just letting go of the 'why' and accepting the way things just 'are' right now.
Very true. Especially when the 'why' person is so crazy anyway.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I learned (and relearned) that you can't argue with a drunk. There is no logic to their way of thinking, so even if there was a "why," it wouldn't make a damn bit of sense. All it does is make us try to fix the crazy, and you can't fix someone else's crazy.
Glad that kickboxing was fun - I've always wanted to try that!
exh: Going to swing by right now to see baby before I have to pick up d15. Me: We are not home right now, but will head that way. Be there in 10 minutes. Exh: NEVERMIND! Me: Well, if you want to come by please give me some notice.
this was good...but I think your still catering to him.
how about "exh: Going to swing by right now to see baby before I have to pick up d15. Me: Not home yet, but she's looking forward to seeing you at 10am! Exh: NEVERMIND! Me: no reason to be angry, if you need to change your visit time, you will need to give me more notice.
when you immediately say, we're heading that way, be there in 10 minutes...I sense that fear in you. then your response from his txt yelling seems defensive. just MHO.
Quote:
Exh: How is baby? Me: Good. Exh: What is with the attitude lately? Me: No attitude. I am the happiest I have been in a long time! Exh: Who are you seeing? You can tell me?
Done texting. Funny how me putting some distance between us makes him think I am dating.
haven't finished the last 3 pages yet..but I have a feeling I'm in for a lot of upset exh stuff. I'm glad you sent the txt about divorce. that was good. he needed to hear something.
but, you know why I think he thinks your dating? because he thinks in order to be happy, he has to be with someone. that's why he's always with a woman. and if your happy, you must be with someone. plus, he's jealous. IMHO.
okay, gonna try to read some more..
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
hun, he's like this because he ISN"T happy. his life sucks and he can't stand for you to move on and find happiness, plus, like I said, he's gonna be jealous.
your doing good though, and I'm so proud of you doing the kickboxing class!!! yea for you!!!
and remember...whoever said stay calm...that is the MOST important! always be calm and if you can't...wait to respond.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
OMG! I can hardly move this morning! Way beyond sore! Its all good though. A cup of coffee and I should be good to go.
Quiet night. No word from exh. Actually I was so tired I didn't realize there was no baby kiss text until this morning! Thats real progress
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
but, you know why I think he thinks your dating? because he thinks in order to be happy, he has to be with someone. that's why he's always with a woman. and if your happy, you must be with someone. plus, he's jealous. IMHO.
Exh has never really been alone for more than maybe a week at most. He has always had someone waiting in the wings. Right now the kind of person he is disgusts me. He doesn't have a true and genuine feeling of emotion in his body. Its all maniuplating. Not just with me...with everyone.
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
hun, he's like this because he ISN"T happy. his life sucks and he can't stand for you to move on and find happiness, plus, like I said, he's gonna be jealous.
I know he isn't happy..but he sure gets alot of attention from people with his pity parties. Sad thing is he won't look in the mirror and realize he is causing this sadness. He could have had a good life..times 2. First exw was a decent woman as well. He blew up two families and still doesn't get it.
His loss.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
This morning I am going to an Alanon meeting with a girlfriend. I have mixed feelings about it, but want to try. Is it more for people living with an active alcoholic in their lives? Wondering if it will keep me stuck.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Just read up and right now I am soooooo damned proud of you. Please keep it up and I feel you will be happier then you ever imagined you could be, on your own.
People are right when they say there is someone out there that is right for you, you just have to take the steps to make it happen.That is the GAL that 25 and I and everyone else keep talking about.
I have loved to read the recent posts looking forward to more of them.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
