The issue below followed an "normal" back-and-forth email with x and I about the kids going to his house this weekend, with co-operation.

Then, I got into it with my son.

This is the email to x tonight about my S14:

Quote:
S14 is being an idiot about wearing his helmet snowboarding. He informed me at 10:14 tonight that it is too small. I told him he is not going unless he wears a helmet.

I would have gotten one when we went up to get the snowboard fixed if he had told me. I am pissed. We were right there.

He made adjustments so it would fit, then decided that it made him look retarted - would I let him not wear it at least on the bunny hill while he was teaching Brian? I said no.
If I find out that he didn't have the helmet on while he was on the slopes, I said snowboarding is over for the year, and he is grounded.

I suggested he rent one. Or ask Brian's brother if he had one. Or ask you if you passed a ski shop on the way home.

I'm angry that he is leaving things till last minute all the time. This was all after having him stall for almost 3 hours to start his homework, only to see him print out a permission slip and say he was done. He lost his planner somewhere at school.

If he doesn't go tomorrow over this damn helmet, he will have to pay me back the $40 I laid out by working it off.

I'm next to positive he pulled the same thing with me this past Wed - it was Dress for Success day, and he decided at 8:40 at night that he needed to go to Target to get a button-down shirt, that he didn't want to wear the polo shirt.
I refused to let him walk, and D10 and I were dressed for bed - I wasn't going out. He argued the point for almost an hour before I threatened him with being grounded. I left him stewing in the living room at around 10:30 -
lo and behold, he is too sick to go to school on Wed - how convenient! He swore up and down that he wasn't lying, that he had a stomach ache and headache. Again, I was pissed, but you can't climb inside someone to see if they are really sick, and I couldn't physically drag him from the bed. So he stayed home.

I don't think there is anything I want you to do - just wanted to give you the head's up, and ask that you back me up. Please alert the Park and Rec people to call me if he doesn't have the helmet on - I'll drive up there and pull him off the mountain myself if I have to.


What am I going to do with this kid?
I am debating if I should forward this to the kids IC. Or the Lt of his beloved JrROTC. Or his next-to-useless guidance counselor at school.

This is stuff that x and I used to be SO good at. I can't help but also let some anger seep in that he isn't here to do this parenting the way it should be done.

S14 can be SO good...but he has also let some "adultism" creep into his thinking, so that I am getting challenged like this when there is something he wants/doesn't want. He'll make a good lawyer, but I am so sick of it! I have taken to telling him that I don't have to explain every decision I make - and he doesn't have to like them all, either - but he has to do it! Then he gets passive-aggressive, like stalling, distracting, negotiating, etc. I'm exhausted.

Gineen, if you are reading this, take notes because the terrible two come around again when they are teens!