Thank you for the all the encouragement- You are so dear to me, my friends! I tried to post last night to say that but fell asleep in the middle of typing- closed my eyes for a sec and I was out! I've been really tired this week.
I'm still trying to understand why everybody has posted what they did because when I look at my situation, I don't see anything remarkable. I'm wondering if I over-reacted this summer by focusing so much on H wanting us to be a swingers. He kept saying that was a minor issue for him because he said he had other more pressing concerns about our M (meaning me), but for me- it was HUGE, even if it wasn't often. I know he would have liked more. But he never held a gun to my head- "do it or else...", he wasn't violent, he didn't beat me, he didn't withhold financial support, and I don't know what my point is here, other than it wasn't a big deal compared to others who really had it bad...
I was a bit shocked this weekend at some of my own posts regarding recent events/revelations and that carried over into Monday and me wanting to get hold of my IC, and now I'm wondering why I felt like I needed to. Honestly, now I don't know why I thought it was so important, because looking back, I'm thinking that maybe it could have waited because I'm not upset about anything, or mad, or whatever- at H or the guy who got out of hand, I don't feel anything. So it must have not been a big deal if I'm not screaming, crying, punching pillows, etc, right? I read about others here getting so upset and depressed sometimes. I haven't had a real good cry since I left- just the occasional teary-eyed moments at the beginning and those are pretty much gone now. My worst moments of teary eyes were this fall in the lead-up, and those weren't big bouts of crying either. So, like I said, nothing remarkable...
I'm really tired (it's been hard for me to sleep) and I'm rambling, I'm not sure if any of that made sense...
