I didn't realize that it was my thread that gave you your reputation. I wish I could give you some advice, but I really don't have much to add. I really liked Gucci's post and I think your W really wants to work things out; she just really doesn't know how.
I watched "An Emotional Life" these past few nights (a mini-series on PBS). I would suggest it for anyone on this forum. Anyway, they mentioned how adaptable the human brain is, that it can physically change to handle just about any situation. However, the adaptation only occurs as a last resort. It does not begin until there is no other way out of the crisis. I think that is what Gucci was getting at. She must change, and humans tend to change only when there is no other way out. But think carefully before giving up on her completely. I read (and don't remember where) that most divorced couple's say, in retrospect, that they wished they would have worked harder on their marriage.
I wish you the best and will be hoping that your W opens up to you. That, at least, will give your marriage a fighting chance.
