You are doing great. Child support may well be non-optional. If she can "provide" for your daughter, then she can give you child support. Sounds like she'd prefer to choose how that support money is spent. Too bad.
Your best strategy may be to try to do an uncontested divorce with you and W doing it yourselves. You can always consult with your L on the side, it is none of W's business and you don't even have to let her know about it. Anyway, if I were you, I'd try to strike while W is being somewhat agreeable. Time is probably not your friend here. W will probably start rejecting more and more of your proposal as time goes on.
