Patience is one thing but it really just seems a$$ backwards to wait, give time and space to someone who seems to be ignoring you and with someone else...
You are NOT suppose to wait? Who told you to wait? Go smack them!
YOU. YOU. YOU. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU. Take as much time and space as YOU need to find YOURSELF. KNOW YOURSELF. Grow as an INDIVIDUAL who is happy about HIMSELF and by HIMSELF.
Give your significant other time and space to get laid by someone else. WTF. Whoever told you that, stop listening to them!!!
GET OUT, GO HAVE FUN, LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST. And most of all develop a new attitude about life. One that is more confident and successful at being alone. Do you find it suprising that people find other people who are confident, decisive, emotionally strong, who can stand on their own two feet and lead the way attractive? I don't. Be that guy. It is not difficult.
This week is actually better. Still dark. Have not spoken to W is a while. Feel good about that kinda, sad also.
The pain is less often, but when it hits, it hits with the same intensity as the day bomb was dropped. My heart tells me that W will come out of fog and come home to work on things. Everything else says "not". Of course, everything else is mind reading and I am not suppose to be doing that.
I apologize for being absent across the board. The last 3 weeks has been busy with work and all. Really crazy schedule and of course, my personal problems to boot. I have not been in a very talkative mood. I am a homebody and lately have been keeping to myself.
I feel like an outcast at times. My sitch is slightly different because A is not hidden from anyone. makes it difficult to bust. I know most A's do not last and that is one of the reasons I wait. Steve says I should not wait. But wait is what I feel I must do.
A long time ago I read this: (a prayer of sorts/poem)
Father in Heaven, up above Please protect the girl I Love Keep her always safe and sound No matter how or where she is found Keep us now and Forever Happy, Loving and always Together
Then to W:
W, did you know that God above Created you for me to Love He picked you out from ALL THE REST Just because HE knew I'd Love you best And when I get to Heaven and you're not there I will write your name everywhere So all the Angels know and see What you, my Love, mean to me And if you are not there on judgment day I'll know you went the other way I'll give them back my golden wings My golden harp and pretty things And to prove to you, my Love is true I'll even go to Hell with you...
Sole, I read this on the back of a napkin when I was 13 years old. I do not know who wrote it. It has been 30 years and I still have the napkin. I copied it and gave it to W when she was 10 years old. We have been together ever since.
I knew than as I know today that W IS my Life partner. I believe we are meant to be. Somehow, someway, it will be.
Granted, I did not take care of her heart as I should have. I got caught up in the world. We all do, don't cha think. We all have made mistakes. Even the folks that have all the right moves make them. They have secrets also... they have things not mentioned that would cause others to frown when they themselves walk in the room. We do not judge... I wish some would not judge me either.
I was willing to go to Hell for her than... I feel as though I am living it now. I deserve to have what I want, and it will take time to undue what has been done. That is the wait.
I GAL, I 180 everything I possibly can for me. I am alone and smiling everyday.... I cry to sometimes, and that is okay too...
I am as happy as I can possibly be in an unwanted unhappy sitch. And tomorrow is another day for hope, love and prayer... and laughter if one can find it.
I do what I feel I must.
And right now, I must go to hell and back...
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
Grow as an INDIVIDUAL who is happy about HIMSELF and by HIMSELF.
I AM. That is what I am doing while I'm waiting.
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU
I believe that is what got me into my sitch in the first place.
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
You are NOT suppose to wait? Who told you to wait? Go smack them!
I told me that after talking to someone on this board. I think this person is more in tune with what I was and am feeling... I choose to take their advice and am happy that I have. It is what I want... to wait and give W time to heal and maybe, if possible, reconcile my R/M. I am doing the other things.... Gal'ing, 180's and having fun when I feel the need. But smack them! My choice.... now you got me kickin' my own a$$! jk
Thanks for the input. Much needed.
BTW.. whatever W is or isn't doing. I do not focus on that. There will be time for those issues when the time is right. We are separated and do not see each other and are not talking much. What little talk there is right now, because of boundaries and DB techniques, I do not talk about R or OM, keeping it simple and working on self improvement. When she falls or comes out of her fog, a much better me will be here to guide her home. Thank you!
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
Sole, I read this on the back of a napkin when I was 13 years old. I do not know who wrote it. It has been 30 years and I still have the napkin. I copied it and gave it to W when she was 10 years old. We have been together ever since.
This is cute.
Originally Posted By: patpat
W's facebook page has pic of her and OM on front page with note:
Had a wonderful New Years with my special man....
Where's my gun! j/k
This made me laugh (your comment, not what happened).
Sorry to hear she's so open about the A. Pat, I know this has got to be extremely difficult for you so I am sending you one big hug!
