Thanks guys. As usual, everyone here always picks me up.
This morning, I had a conversation with my W to discuss the D filing. I could no longer carry around the anger and had a few things to say.
I won't go through the blow by blow, but the upshot of the conversation was that she filed because, W says, I have been condescending and "talked down" to her ever since the bomb so she "couldn't have a conversation with me." That people file D's every day and remain friends for the sake of the children. W's demeanor the entire time of this discussion was one of utter disrespect with lots of anger and eye rolling. I told her I was disappointed in her for filing and having me served at my office. She thought since she wasn't having a sheriff's deputy serve me, she was being "respectful."
The coups de gras was when she told me she was at peace with her decision b/c God was leading her down this path. And, at that point, it became incredibly clear how far gone she is. I have no doubt she truly believes God is telling her to walk out on our M and to break up the family. I feel very sad for her. But, I can't save someone who doesn't think there is any problem or who does not want help.
On the way to work after our discussion, I found it odd how peaceful I felt. Surely, I should be feeling some negative emotion. But,I didn't. Perhaps I needed to hear the words out of her mouth and to see the utter contempt she displays for me, but I now know she sees me as unworthy of even simply politeness. And that is just unacceptable.
I will continue moving forward with more peace that I have done everything I could to save our family and M. As she said in the conversation this morning, her message has been the same since telling me she wanted a D. While I have a different view of that, it is clear from the date of the bomb, W never had any true desire to work on our M. She sees happiness on the other side of this. I know what awaits her, and it isn't pretty.
