I hear ya, SP. I've felt that frustration, too. It is absolutely excruciating to see your kids in pain, and when that person hurting them is a parent it's even more frustrating. It hurts, it's frustrating, it's agonizing.
I also know the frustration of occasionally feeling expected to "be" a certain way when posting--as if venting and expressing the inevitable pain are just not acceptable. I think when you're raising kids virtually unassisted, and you're overwhelmed with all these emotions, you've gotta put them somewhere so you can keep going on and functioning and being a good parent.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012