A Choice

[patpat]

Soleil

Thanks.... you are correct. I am focusing on me. And Sole, HNY to you also....

Of course, today is a lazy day...

so cold outside, I think it is like 7 OUCH!

Ok.. good to hear from ya....

[patpat]

4Luv

No way, did not argue with W. She did. She did say that she appreciated me standing up for OM when confronted by employees... I laughed a little. I told W I was not taking up for the prick. If anything, I was defending your privacy if you could call it that. I think she liked that statement. Of course, it was over the phone.

Thanks for the prayers, I need all I can get. If you know anybody who has prayers they haven't used (rollover prayers LOL), send them my way.

Thanks Luv..

I need to bounce around and check other threads.... usually do on weekend as not much time during the workweek, I will visit you soon on your thread!

Thanks for checking in....

[TrentC]

She did say that she appreciated me standing up for OM when confronted by employees... I laughed a little. I told W I was not taking up for the prick. If anything, I was defending your privacy if you could call it that.

*blink*blink*

You stood up for the man who is sleeping with your wife, and justified it as defending her privacy?

How about this -- your wife is responsible for her own actions, and she should learn to deal with the consequences of those actions?

[patpat]

Actually I did not stand up for him. Several of my employees cornered him and were contemplating giving him an a$$ kickin'. Another employee called me and I rushed to the yard. A parking lot holding truck down from our shop.

Originally, I just wanted to stop whatever was about to happen, as we (my guys) were in uniform and on another companies property. Ya know, avoid the law suit at all cost.

By the time I got there, the guys had left to go on there routes. OM was still there... he does not work for me BTW...

I took the opportunity to speak with him.

OM told my W that employees were gonna kick his a$$, that I came to save him. W questioned me, and tried to thank me, I laughed (sarcastically), and said, no, I was defending your privacy...

I should have wrote different... ha, her privacy. That is why every body, including employees know what the hell is going on.... we all shop at the same stores.....HELLO, hell, OM probably slept with their W's also. His a$$ woopings are retro...

Thanks TrentC.... I would never defend OM...

[sandi2]

Does it mean anything that W and I after 29 years did not bring in the New Year together...

It only means you were not standing side by side at that moment in time. Don't give up.

[patpat]

S2..

I will never give up, but it sure is hurting. More these last few days. I am at the point though where I will not call, text or initiate any kind of contact.

W told me the other day. Give me space, do not pressure me. I try to come back to the house but feel as thou if I come in you will jump me and make me feel bad. So she does not come. She said, I can come by to visit or talk with you. 5 mins could tuern into an hour, hour into a day and so on, if just keep the pressure off. R talk, OM talk etc....

I mentioned "retrouvaille" and told her it was for people like us, going thru what we are going thru, trying to make another go at it. She said she would be interested.... baby step.

Anywho... today was a good day. No fears, low moments etc... laughed alot with co-workers and all. W's X friend keeps texting me telling me to have a great day. Sent me music via email. Told me thru text to go home and listen to it, it was our music....

I did text her today telling her to stop texting me and to not contact me anymore. My W does not like her and this could be seen as something she would hold against me for talking to her. maybe think I am doing the same crap she is doing and things get even more complicated.

I do not like this other lady all of a sudden showing interest in me. She does not seem to be taking the hint.

Anyway S2, it was great to see you here. How is your health? I prey very well. been thinking 'bout cha!

Come back....

[sandi2]

I am at the point though where I will not call, text or initiate any kind of contact.

Good for you! This is so difficult for the LBH. It is the right thing to do, even though it's painful.

if just keep the pressure off. R talk, OM talk etc....

She said that? If so, then it sounds really hopeful.....but look at her conditions. Can you stay away from talking about OM & the R?

I mentioned "retrouvaille" and told her it was for people like us, going thru what we are going thru, trying to make another go at it. She said she would be interested.... baby step.

Wow, that's not a baby step....that is huge! I'm surprised she did not see it as a lot of pressure being applied. I just hope OM will not be in the picture when you go to the retreat or it may not have the same affect. Anyway, if she is really interested in going, then getting registered, etc. would be another great step in the right direction.

Anyway S2, it was great to see you here. How is your health? I prey very well. been thinking 'bout cha!

Ahhh, thank you so much for that! The past several months my pain level has been high, but today....it was not as bad. So, kind of like you in your stich.....I really appreciate the good days when I can get them. Thank so much for the prayers b/c that is what gets the job done.

Take care,
Sandi

[patpat]

Hi S2,

Boy oh boy, have I missed you. I have been so lost these last 3 weeks...

X-mas spent mostly alone. S18 hung out a spell than darted away with friends. Co-workers stopped by, the single ones but most of them were just making the rounds.... they have children and fam in area, so I expected that. Cooked a big dinner, at little of it, but had plenty left over for days.

New Year's, again alone. Did not feel as bad as X-mas, but still sad. Thought about W some than went to bed. I guess I just felt bad because had none of this happened, I would have spent the evening with W at friends as we do every year. Instead, W and OM spent evening with our best friends of 15 years. I don't know how our best friends could allow that knowing she is still married. There will have to be a lot of mending here if W and I get back together... or find a way to ditch our old friends. W meet OM thru them.... God, this makes me sick.... but moving beyond that and hoping that W will wake up and choose our M over OM.

W was very positive about the seminar.... but currently still hanging out with OM. Have not spoken to her since that day, so I do not know where or when we will get the opportunity to attend. I am looking forward to it.

I will wait and see.

As for the no R yalk and the no OM talk.... yeah, I can do it. Lately, I have been to the point where I don't even care sometimes.... is that bad. I just tell myself she is weirdid out and she'll wake up. I hope I am not just lying to myself.

The hardest part is that I do not see her. I do not know what she is doing etc... before we separated, I always knew. She wopuld always call. Now, just straight to nothing... lost, lonely and nervous about future. I know this is normal considering sitch, but it still sucks.... I'll be okay, just wanted to throw that off of myself.

Question for ya... even though W is not around... do ya think she is thinking 'bout me? I know you do not really know but what is the norm for a WAS in this sitch... what is she thinking about?

I know W and OM do not see each other often, but still hang out from time to time. She just refers to OM as a friend with common interests... doesn't tell much else. This was from a convo before she mentioned no R or OM talk.

My heart tells me that she will return soon. Reading the board, I read that I am suppose to use my head, not my heart.

I have a hard time with that one, but I do kinda understand...

I am glad that your pain level has fallen a pinch. I wish you had no pain at all...

If you were around, I would do the happy dance for you and you would just laugh your a$$ off. I use to do stupid things like that for W to get her to smile.

Example: When we would get into an argument and she would show frustration, I would always end it with a kung fu pose and not move from it. She would ask, what are you doing? I would just tell her that it was stand still kung fu.... and not to wake it up because.... and then she would start laughing. That has always been a good way to end a spat. You'd have to see it though. Tell you does it no justice....

The versary dance... the shower dance... the dog pee'd in the hallway dance.... the look at me I'm naked dance.... and the list goes on...

Maybe she will see them all again.

My days S@ are better. Thank you again for being here. You are truly one that I, and others, love to talk too. I know you hands and head must be aching from all the repitition here on the board. One day it will my turn once I learn more and become stronger.

I'm just glad you're here.

I pray for you daily as I do most on the board. I do that more than I respond on threads. I will when I have something to say, but it takes me a long time to type and sometimes I loose my thought. That is why I jump so much in a convo...

oh well....

I hope you get more good days in the near future. I will pray extra hard for those and more importantly "healing"...

May God's good Graces continue to fall upon you....

[patpat]

Patience is one thing but it really just seems a$$ backwards to wait, give time and space to someone who seems to be ignoring you and with someone else...

why do we let these things affect us like this.....?

Oh, look.. a penny!

[patpat]

Looking 4 Sandi2...


hey Sandi, my sisters name is Sandi also... we just call her Cassy!