First of all cutterbug and undefeated I greatly appreciate your advice and encourage you both to continue corresponding with me. Sorry its taken me so long but with Christmas and New Years I was traveling and remaining busy with friends and family. However, I have been meaning to update my DB family so here it goes……
As I stated before my husband works in Sacramento which is 6 hours away so I did the unthinkable. I flew to Sacramento on Sunday afternoon "unannounced." Long story short, I was unable to track him down Sunday (stupid NFL footbal games all day with friends). Then I fell asleep from pure exhaustion around 9PM. I did not want to tell him I was in town until I actually got him on the phone. So I called him Monday early morning and he answered. In short he was surprised that I was in town, wanted to know where I was staying, and when did I get in town. Of course he was calm, cool, and collective. Not overly excited but shocked.
He took off work early and we met a Cheesecake Factory. When he arrived I already had 2 drinks so this made me very relaxed and cheerful. It was almost like old times when we first started dating. We kissed a few times, we talked about our Christmas holiday, laughed, and poked jokes at each other.
He asked where the relationship stood with me and the OM and if I had taken certain precautions to end the relationship and I told him yes and explained my steps. I also gave him my address for the first time since the separation in May and told him he's always welcome to stay with me when he's in town. He was hesitant when answering and said that my apartment was tainted (assuming because the OM had been there) and that I had never invited him before. I didn't bother to debate but was happy to know I had finally given him my home address as an indication that he is welcome over anytime and that my relationship with the OM is OVER.
I also told him that I may be getting a new job soon and that I would have to relocate closer to the job if all worked out . I asked him if he would be willing to relocate with me when he comes home in May because his job in Sacramento will be finished hopefully. Suprisingly, he gave me a yes (nodding his head slowly). Huge change from when he wouldn't even return my phone calls or reply to my text messages. I offered to pay for our meal and he told me NO that he would pay since I had my flight expense, etc. I thought that was soooo sweet and reminded me of why I fell in love with him six years ago. He also told me that I needed to order more food to take my medicine as I have been really sick these last few weeks.
I did overlook some of his smart a$$ comments and didn't argue with him when he said something I didn't agree with. Like, I told him I missed him and asked if he missed me. He said yeah I miss going to nice places and on vacation with you, it's not like I can say I miss your cooking and cleaning…hahahahahah!!! Of course I didn’t find it funny but allowed him the opportunity to be rude. I also told him that I'm so ready to have kids, etc. He then says well you can have kids with anyone if you just want to have kids. I reassured him again that I only wanted kids with him the man I love. He replied with, "I don't think I want kids anymore, I'm too old." Mind you he's only 35 since March of this year.
Finally, before I left to the airport I gave him his Christmas gift. A Playstation 3 which I knew he would really enjoy since there's not much to do in Sacramento. He was very happy and continued talking to me even tho I needed to get moving to the airport. Before we departed I asked him what was on his mind and he said, "I can't understand how you can be so sweet at times and then very mean and selfish other times." I replied with telling him I'm sorry for what I've done to him and what I've put him thru and that no matter what I love him. He replied back, "I love you too…I never said I didn't."
So we hugged again and I asked him for a longer kiss with some tongue action before I left. I didn't think it would work but it did So we kissed and he had me follow him to drop off my rental car and told me to call him once I got the airport. I called him once I got to the airport and he sounded very tired, exhausted. He told me that he was in shock that I was in Sacramento and it had not set in yet. Gues he couldn't believe it. He also said he was confused but stated he did not want to talk about it then. So I said ok and we talked for a few more minutes and then I had to board my flight.
Today is Thursday and I've only spoken with him once since flying back home and it was brief and I was the one who called. At this point, I think I've done all I can do. I did what I could to show him that I TRULY love him and that I'm done with the OM. I'm willing to go the distance and I only want to start a family with him. I'm just getting mixed signals and am now scared that he will listen to his friends and family.
Any thoughts from my DB family? Do you think he still loves me but not sure if he wants me back? At this point I know its imperative that I practice major DB if I want him back!
So we kissed and he had me follow him to drop off my rental car and told me to call him once I got the airport. I called him once I got to the airport and he sounded very tired, exhausted. He told me that he was in shock that I was in Sacramento and it had not set in yet. Gues he couldn't believe it. He also said he was confused but stated he did not want to talk about it then. So I said ok and we talked for a few more minutes and then I had to board my flight.
