Puppy, you seem angry. ***Not angry at all, although if you thought THAT reply to you made me seem that way, just wait 'til you read the longer one. DOH!!! "Frustrated" is probably a better word than "angry."
These are the types of things that, IMHO, make piecing different from when you're posting on the Infidelity or Newcomers board. ***I'm sure it's a very different dynamic. The other more experienced "Piecers" are free to disagree with me, and I've already said, I may be all wet here, and may be the only one to see what I've been seeing.
Things that you would never do there, like "fix" your spouse, etc become different because you're truly communicating with your spouse. ***I don't believe there's ever a good time to feel it your place to "fix" your woman. It's a classic DAM mistake, and we make it at our peril.
Lets say in the course of your daily life, your spouse has an arguement with their mother. W tells you the story and in your mind you can see where W wasn't understanding her mom or there was a misunderstanding that caused the disagreement. Would you not say to your W, Honey, did you consider xx? And if she said "oh crap, I didn't think about that, maybe I owe her an apology", would you not say "you might be right"?
I'm not saying an A is anything like an arguement between a mother and child, but isn't it the same theory?
***I don't see the analogy at all. I am talking about an obviously VERY potentially "hot-button" issue with your wife . . . THE hot-button issue, most likely, in your marriage, forever, from this point forward: her affair. I'm just suggesting that you should treat it with kid gloves, and limit the number of times you try to pick it up and "treat" it at all.
