So, H making lots of positive steps in the right direction. He calls me from work frequently, spending lots of time with me and kids, initiating lots of affection and conversation, checking in with how I am doing, attending IC appointments and sharing lots with me about how that is going, etc etc. All good. We are experiencing levels of emotional and physical intimacy that I don't think we ever experienced before. And, I really thought we had been close prior to his disengaging before the A.
What I am finding is that the better he is starting to do, and the better WE are doing as a couple, the more my emotions are coming to the surface. I will leave H in the morning from a wonderful morning of affection and teasing, light banter... to get in my car and burst into tears and start ranting about how could he do this to me etc. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes! I am reading that this is actually quite normal, but it's exhuasting!
I got so used to "acting as if" during DBing... is that what I am still doing? Am I not being real enough with my emotions in front of him? Should I be showing him more of this? Don't get me wrong, we talk a lot about everything that has happened and I am honest about my pain and anger, and he has seen my breakdown from triggers, etc.
I don't know... I guess just curious about whether others experienced this so intensely, is this normal? What did you do with all these emotions?
