I am thinking that your xW still not having gone 100% NC with the OM is a powder keg just waiting to go off. Especially if you are wanting to get you two and your cousin in the same room to clear the air -- which I agree is much needed, but with your xW still not severing all ties with OM, your cousin is likely in no mood to give any quarter -- and the potential for clearing the air might really be a major fight brewing.
In that case, I can see your cousin's reason for not trusting your ex.
Until you get these underlying issues put to rest, you might find it easier to hold peace talks in the Middle East.
And you need to solidify the NC with OM status for your own sake as well, of course. Each time the R clock gets set back to zero, as they say.
