Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[mulesqb]

SD - I really think you have to focus all your energies on your kids, GALing and detaching and most importantly your job. Your interactions with your W may make you feel better somehow deep inside, probably due to your co-dependency. But trust me, they are not helping things. If you truly want to move forward and not make another big mistake, in my opinion you need to stop all this interaction. I think it is just going to lead you right into another big mistake. And ultimately it could cost you any chance of a reconciliation that you might have down the road. Every post of yours is about her, she did this, she e-mailed this, she left me that message etc...Bro, it has got to stop.

Your W is very conflicted and basically has you wrapped around her finger. I say this to you, because I was you a year and half ago. It doesn't work. I look back at some of those interactions as digging the knife deeper into the wound. I'm not telling you to be rude or nasty or anything like that. Just detach. Think of your interactions as an opportunity to exude class and integrity. Be above the situation, and removed from her drama. Quite honestly, she needs a major dose of reality. All you are doing is reinforcing her emotions to move on. The way she has jumped around to different men tells me that she can't find whatever it is she is looking for.

Phoenix, Puppy, BWorl and FIB had all given me some great lines to shoot back to her when she is baiting. Things like: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but that is not accurate, I have to go now", etc...Stop answering and defending yourself. Be brief and to the point and firm. Stop worrying about her feelings and what's going on in her world. SD, she really needs to figure out all her crap on her own. You being so involved in her mess is just building a stronger and stronger case in her mind that you have a lot to do with it. Please detach. Limit your interactions. Interact with Strength and Honor. Be the Man that you are. Lead. That's attractive.

Just my $.02.

Strength and Honor.

Mules