Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

Just got back from the clinic for STD test results. All were negative. Such a humiliating experience to have to go through when the only person you've had sex with was your wife.

WAW is starting to show pursuing behavior towards me. She's definitely been shaken by receiving the D papers, and is having second thoughts about the whole thing. I've avoided any deep R discussion so far, but I'm sure we'll have to talk about it at some point. Two nights ago, she started texting me late, lamenting how much she missed snuggling with me in our bed. She ended up coming over for several hours. She climbed in bed with me and we snuggled in the dark just holding each other, smelling each other, touching each other. No talking, no analyzing, no blaming, no promises...just the beating of two damaged hearts with a long history, feeling the closeness of that particular moment in time. Probably not the best thing for my attempts at detachment, but I have no regrets for the experience.

I'm still moving forward with my plans, as I still feel it's what's best for me, S7 and STBXW. We both need some time to work on ourselves to become the people we need to be. I know that it's going to take much time for me to forgive her for what has happened with OMs. I think that the issue of trust is still the biggest obstacle in busting this D. We still have S7 in common that will keep us in each other's lives, and if there comes a time when we feel that we want to have another go at a R, we can build from there.