Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

In my opinion the advantage we have is that we have assessed ourselves and the situation. Im my sitch, I am are trying to improve who I am, how I react to problems and ulitmately how I love (not taking things for granted). Will this help me down the road? I like to think it will. Conversly, our spouses are reacting to being unhappy and have only assessed that. They are not changing themselves and will likely carry past mistakes with them into the future. Just my thoughts for the day.

I almost feel like a parent to my W. I know that remark my ruffle some feathers especially to those who have suffered at the hands of a control freak. (I was controlling but IMHO not a freak). What I mean here is the feeling I had when I was (gently) pulling my wife apart from the guy she was liplocked with in the bar, the feelings/emotions I was experiencing were those of a parent looking out for a teenager not those of a husband watching his W kissing another man right in front of him.

I still love my W but the feeling is changing inside, it is moving from a longing for her to a deep caring for her, it feels more mature. Is it possible that our WAW's actually experience the same feeling of love moving from a "in Love" feeling to "I care about him Love" feeling. And b/c they were unhappy on the inside they are now looking to go backwards (look for a less mature love) to make themselves happy again? That was deep, did it make sense?

Either way this thing goes, I know I can love my wife no matter what and I think that is the point of not harboring bitterness.

I think you are right DW, you are going to be a better person for the attitude you are fostering in yourself. You are filling yourself with Love, therefore you will attract Love. Love is definitely a choice, I think that some of us here on these boards move forward in their "Love maturity" no matter the outcome of their sitch. Still others get stuck where they are at and again with mixed outcomes. I think you are moving to the more "Mature Love", I think it is a sign of personal growth few people experience.