Future - I think you and I live in the same state IIRC.
My attny was also a certified mediator. Obviously he cannot rep a client and also mediate but I did learn SO much as his skill set crosses over even though he was *my* attny.
Anyhow, my attny will not mediate between a couple unless BOTH parties are repped by individual counsel. So, he would meet with the couple as a mediator and help the couple reach a settlement. Then both spouses would take the proposed settlement to their legal counsel for review. He will also not mediate with a couple if one spouse waives their rights to counsel and they use one attny. In this state it is suicide but I think you know that.
The second I read your W's proposal I thought about the Brazil case as well. If your W wants the children to be exposed to other cultures tell her to take them to a museum!
The "formula" my attny helped me establish was as follows:
1. What I am 110% unwilling under any circumstance to bend on
2. What I might possibly bend on if the counter offer is appropriate
3. Things I am willing to bend on (which essentially were not important to me and merely created leverage and a false sense of goodwill with my H)
I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I know it is so easy to say "do this" and "don't do that" but I wish I would have followed my attnys plan from the get go (NOT talking to H). Especially if opposing counsel does not practice law in a "clean" way. And sadly, in this state most WAS who are in an affair and have lots at stake (and I don't mean money) will retain the "snake" attny as they are in the wrong and unlike most states, our state *is* a "fault" state.
I am not sure how to give you my contact info but if you ever need any moral support as you navigate through this mess of a family court system find me on the boards. I can really relate to it being a very difficult journey.
Stay strong and keep in mind your W is *really* missing out!
