here we go again

[Jstar]

Where am I today?

EAch day I give h a try to see if his words match his actions, duh they don't. His latest is saying he wants to put all his cards on the table and that wants me to do that. OMG Ihave done that hmm 2-3 times. I guess now since he "says" he's going to now he thinks it's time for me.

So I had a scare yesterday, had to get to OB for a quick checkup, thankfully everything ok, just me doing to much.

So H comes over for about an hour, played a little bit with d2, asked where she goes during the day who watches her. I just turn his comments into mine. He keeps telling me he has errands to run and when he feels ready to tell me then he will, so i tell him when he askes about d2, well when i feel i can trust you then i'll let you know where she goes.

I jokingly say to him I have my deck of cards, he says oh well I don't have mine so you'll have to wait. I know this, here we go again, you say something you don't mean, I'm so tired of it. Leaves a msg about crap atleast what i think is crap.

my only response is i don't believe anything you say, when i see actions then maybe i'll believe, you words are just that words. I sent msg saying i don't think we should speak for 2 weeks.

Each time we do get together it ends up with me being so frustrated and disgusted with what he says in his lip service, he does not respect.

And I'm gonna let this man in while they are cutting me open, he@! no. he will upset me beyond believe and piss me off even while i'm delivering our son.