Can't seem to move forward...Help!

[bright_new_day]

Why do you think my XH lied to me in NY?

Because he is a liar. He cnnot deal in truth so he lies.

Why was this man so awful to me? What was/is it about me that he couldn't care less about my feelings?

Sweetie it had nothing to do with you as a person. He is who he is. You didn't do anything to make him inconsiderate or unfeeling...it's who he is. Please stop trying to find fault with yourself to excuse his actions. It isn't about you.

Why don't these people feel guilty about everything they do and all the people they hurt?
It's awful - how am I ever going to understand and come to terms with this?

It is awful, but again, it is not about you. It is about him and the kind of person he is. I am not saying you are perfect, or did everything right in the marriage, but it isn't all about you. Some people are not strong enough to face their faults, so they blame others and run away. That is what he did. Even if you had been perfect, he probably would have done the same thing, because that is who he is. You need to realize that you did the best you could under the circumstances and learn from the mistakes you made. As you move forward in life and into new relationships you will have the knowledge and experience to not repeat the mistakes, and you will be more informed in what you are looking for in a partner.