After about 3 months, I think I have finally detached. I have had several opportunities over the last few days to "snoop", yet I haven't. This may be because of a comfort level I feel having him under the same roof, or I just don't want to hurt myself anymore than necessary at this time.
Last night, after being so kind about our dog during the day, my husband did an about face. I asked him if he would be able to help me with her recovery and he replied "I may have something to do then". I was more than annoyed, yet I completely let it go accepting that I would have to be the responsible party once again for realities of our lives, as I have been since October. He has done nothing to provide for our daily lives in terms of caring for the home, finances, animals, cars, family, etc.
He then proceeded to tell me that he was going to try to make arrangements to stay somewhere else for a while, but will be returning because, afterall, this is his house too. Once again, I was irritated by the statement as this home is not a hotel and he cannot live or not live here as he pleases. I said that is fine with me and was completely unemotional about the whole thing. Is he just trying to make jabs at me??? He also wanted to clarify with me that he was not abandoning the marital residence either. I have a sneaking suspicion that the OW is still in the picture regardless of her disdain for some of his actions and she is probably incredibly annoyed that he is at the house. Is he buying more time perhaps to sit on the fence for longer????
Well, I think I am detached at this point. Maybe I'm just so exhausted by the rollercoaster that I just don't care either way at this point. I have a little less than apathy right now. I do love my husband and that goes without saying and I would love nothing more than for him to come home to our M. I just can't keep up with his emotions and the contradictory actions/statements. I continue to pray every day for our M, my husband, and healing for both of us.
