Another Sad Deployed Soldier/Dad

[TrentC]

That's a good idea, don't want her to think I'm dead and start planning her future with OM too soon....

That's one way to look at it. Another way would be "I want to respect the promise to my wife, even if only so she can reassure the kids."

I went back and re-read your situation, and was surprised to read this:

I am happy that it is hitting home and only took 1 night. I am happy she is realizing her actions weather anything actualy DID or DID NOT happen.

Let me get this straight: you're happy that she's realizing the consequences of her actions, but you're not even sure that she has actually cheated on you again?

Maybe you should try this: Instead of going dark, go dim. Send her the "I'm alive" emails as you promised. When she says something like "you are a great husband, father, and provider, I love you and i miss you and don't want to lose you" respond with, "I appreciate hearing that. When I get home we'll have a lot to talk about."

If you talk to her on the phone, be polite and upbeat but reserved.

You generate mystery and curiosity on her part; you are open to the possibility of working things out without making any statements either way.