Sorry, we're closed. Under new management.

[25yearsmlc]

Frank,
sorry I missed the call.

This sucks for you, is incredibly wearing...and you surely are tempted to throw in the towel. Did you follow that story in the news about the dad who's wife took their son to her home country of Brazil for the holidays, divorced him and kept their son? He got custody awarded in the US but Brazil said "no the son belongs with his mom (no matter how she got him here)" Then she remarried and then she died in childbirth and the step dad AND GRandmothet wanted custody and got it, at first...."stability of the boy" who knew them better than he knew his dad, though contact was maintained....Think of that man taking 5 years to get his son back from a woman who essentially abducted him...(it wasn't a "custody issue" as the Brazilian Supreme court finally and correctly noted; it was an abduction case and letting the "kidnapper's" family keep the kid b/c it was more stable, though perhaps true, rewards bad behavior and would lead to totally crazy cases in the aftermath...so THAT father got his son and you will too...in some form.

Here's the real thing I want to tell you Frank. Yes you are a good man and dedicated father and that means a whole lot. I think IF you stay true to the best in you, and don't go to the dark (but understandably tempting side) of approaching this horrible situation... iow, don't blow it now...Because then your wife will continue to reveal her pathology . I am not saying be a doormat, I'm saying don't give her ANY fuel. B/C She is self destructing all on her own! No need for you to push her any more b/c she's getting there all by herself....No judge will ignore this type of behavior if it is correctly assessed. That means your L has to present it, with witnesses for instance. I cannot believe that Val thinks this crap will help her cause!! IT will help yours!! Again, if your version is accurate and the judge hears it, OMG....she's a crazy fool.

So far, I agree with your L's take on this. Your wife feels she has nothing to lose with a trial but she's wrong. You are the one with nothing to lose by fighting this..she is a fool. Maybe crazy, definitely stubborn and foolish and whatever else...

So Could your son tolerate some questioning? It's NOT cross examining like they do to adults. They are pretty sensitive as long as he doesn't get crap from Val about what to say or how he ruined things and blah blah blah...My nieces were his age and it did not seem to traumatize them nearly as much as the fighting did and to my knowledge, they liked talking to the judge. They got split 50/50 in the end...Yes, different state.

Are you concerned that your d will feel the need to compensate with your w and "Stick up for her if the boys (ie you and S9) are ganging up on mommy"? Try so hard NOT to fight in front of them and the kids will probably recall you saying things like "let's not fight in front of them" and seeing you try to walk away.

They won't know how huge that is in your favor so keep doing it and hope your w follows you to fight some more b/c in the long run that helps you IF the judge hears of it, and or if the kids report this to the judge...in a horrible way Frank, some of this is actually good news... I'm sad if it portends the future but it may do the opposite. IF she gets slapped hard for this then even if she doesn't lose custody, she may learn SOMETHING...

SIGH SIGH SIGH...your message so upset me Frank...BUT Keep me posted but good grief.
I didn't hear your part about the timing of this process though. What is next now?
(((( HUGS ))))
J-