Agreed Kerry, there should be some BIG financial penalty for infidelity; at any rate at least no reward and a good deal of social stigma otherwise this thing perpetuates itself; these cheaters have gotten so shameless as a result of "no-fault" D. You should not have had to pay a dime, leave alone $40k. And if you ask me getting the kids to accept this is a form of "child abuse". I've heard the mantra of "stay the high road the kids are not fools they'll ultimately get it" - yes, the high road is necessary but I do not believe it is sufficient and not all kids will "get it" when they grow up - a good majority will repeat history. I went to court and somehow forced OM the second in my case to sign an agreement that he would not come near me or my kids or call/e-mail/text them when they are with me as I was getting the creeps. He had the audacity to call my kids "his kids too" even in court.
