Well as I suspected, W has to deliver her bomb so in MC she tells that the day after I moved back in 12/29 (Batsh#t crazy night) she went to her L the next am and had her L file for D 12/30. So W tells me expect to be served soon...so I tell her that I sorry that you decided to go the L route, I would have preferred thru other channels but thats what you choose...
Then the WTF moment, W says,"I want a D, I think it's the right thing for me AT THIS MOMENT". again implying uncertainty..
We then go on a tangent with the MC about how we want to get the kids involved in the counseling process and have a healthy discussion...
A few thoughts.. knowing my W, when she emotionally reacts, she goes above and beyond, swats flys with sledge hammers, so this was expected.. When I asked W what she expects to happen, W says,"I don't know, whats going to happen", "I just went to the L and told her I want a D, the L did the rest".
MC steps in and reminds W that this is not a race and maybe she should let the dust settle. I asked her what her time frame is and W replies, "I don't know... I just know that I filed, I don't have a time line".
This really pissed me off, I'm thinking, it sounds like you did this for the sake of doing it,, knee jerk response. who knows?
When asked by the MC about what I needed, I replied "I want to heal the marriage and work towards reconciliation, It is important to me and not easily disposable. Its also what best for the kids to be in a healthy family environment with both parents"
W again states she wants out....
MC then addresses the W, "I remember in a moment of clarity, you said, gee, you're good!" (I can sense MC going into prevent mode) he says, "You and your H were just talking AGAIN, planning out what you wanted to happen with the kids and how you both effectively worked on the situation just now, it was really good communication,,,, that is what you haven't been able to do in you're personal/couple lives...
Now W begins crying, and states,"I can't believe this, I'm a therapist...
(W has a Masters in Marriage and family counseling, go figure)
"and I've done this all my life, but it's a sham, it doesnt work, its not helping, and its not the magic cure...H, I love you, I really do but our M doesn't work"
I mention to the MC, that is why I thought Retrovuaille would be beneficial for our specific situation and MC adds he thought it looked like a good program... He asks if there would be any harm in us going for a day,,, I reply that its a weekend and then follow up single days to work on the skills, .... MC puts out, but there are no strings? (my guess is his attempt to get W to attend if she felt no strings)... I say both partners have to want to be there for a proper session... W says nothing,,,,
the session ends, and we leave. I get sad on the drive home but my anger starts to drive the sadness away and I'm thinking I'm better off without her... man what a roller coaster...
