all the things you are wondering are normal. We all have worried over the same things. But if she is waffling, THIS IS A GOOD THING. Imagine if she just up and left and said I WANT A D PERIOD. Many people find themselves in this situation. So here's a chance for you to focus on the positive, not the negative. She's still 50% sure. The other 50% can be changed by you coming across as understanding of her needs, and by going ahead with your own life. This does not mean you will have to do things alone forever necessarily. In fact, your chances are increased that she will come back if you let he make her own decision and show to her you are happy with yourself either way.
I talk the talk, but walking the walk is really hard. I have my up days and my down days. That's why I check in with these boards and the DB book every day - to keep me on track when I fear it is all too insurmountable.
Now even if you feel horrible inside, you want to give her the impression of you giving her zero pressure. If she has communicated to you that she feels pressured,do a 180 and be sure that you are not asking for anything. Just validate her need for space, even if inside you are crumbling. Then come here and get support.
It seems impossible, but it's not. Read through some of the success stories here (Lost Rabbit is a great example) and all the ups and downs they went through and ended up with their spouses back.
The spouse has to CHOOSE to come back. 50% chance she will. Hold onto that.
