Thank you all for the well wishes. I have been busy today. I am homw now. I'm still sifting through all the emotions I have.
My step father called me tonight - understandably, he's worried about me. He is my shining example of honor in the face of D. He M'd my mother (2nd M for them both). My mother has some severe mental issues (mostly bi-polar and massive anxiety disorder), and she really put him through the ringer during the M and D. To this day, he has never utterred any negative comment about my mother.
And tonight, I got to tell him how much I admired him and how he set an example I hope I can follow - that's my plan. It really meant a lot to me to be able to tell him. There are so many things I would have like to have told my biological father but never did before he passed away. Despite where I am right now, I will not forget tonight.
I am handling it. That's not to say I don't cycle from pain to anger to resentment to resolve. I have faith that with time this will get easier. And I know it will. I just need to speed up time. Anyone got a tip for that?!
You guys are great and have really helped me. I monitored my thread all day, and everyone's well wishes lifted my spirits. Thanks guys.
