H is depressed and in MLC

[Ready2Change]

I am so glad to have found this forum and another one like it.

We are glad you found it too. It is a great place for support. Pass out what you want to receive. Go offer support to others and they will reciprocate.

I had no idea what was going on until recently and these posts are helping me see that I am not insane.

Many of our sitch are so similar, it is scary.

When he first left he treated me like I was his arch enemy until I finally told him I would not take another day of it. Now he comes over and is affectionate at times

This is a boundary you set. The more boundaries you set the better.

Simple formula for boundary:

When you _____, I feel ________ , I want ________.

My question is what do I do?

Keep making positive changes in your life.

I have noticed that if I even mention the relationship he goes for the door.

OK. Than don't do that anymore. Notice what works and does not work. Do more of what works.

Everything has to stay light and pleasant. There are times when he is affectionate

good.

How long do you hang on?

Set him free. If he comes back is when YOU decide if you want to work on it.

My husband was there for me several years ago when i was going through a tough time in my life and I used to always tell him how much it means to me. He would tell me that one day he will go through something and he knows I would be there for him. Is this it?

That is all history. Stay in the present.

My friends and family want him away from me so I can move on with my life. They think I should proceed with the divorce and forget him. I still love him but I am not sure I can take much more!

They want you to feel good. The easy path is not always the right path. The right thing to do is not always intuitive. Rejecting the WAS may be the right thing to do.

The only problem I have is that when he does come forward it is just like throwing me crumbs.

Another place for a boundary.