You've got guys, you've got gals telling you the same thing.
Let it go. You cannot control what type of parent she is, will be and/or how she will treat her children. If you have to cling to what you thought you had, the ideal you hoped to have then do it.. but with your eyes open.
Does talking to her reasonably, unreasonably, rationally, irrationally change anything? Is she more interested in talking about herself or hearing about the kids? Why.. if she hasn't listened to you in the past, will she listen to you now?
This is a tough period. Her castoff clothing with her scent still lingering is poignant and probably stirs up all sorts of angst which brings up more stuff which can send MoJo into a Tidy Bowl swirl. Cut yourself some slack, reread your goals on this thread and find that stride.
I mean.. look at how far you've come.
Just remember. You are the dad. You are the birthday cake maker. You are love. Their mom has to suffer the consequences of her actions.. and that will come from the kids, not you.
And it could be worse. But through all this, they have you. And they learn from you. Let go of what you can't control, drop the rope, stop trying to tug their mom to be where most people think any self respecting parent would be.
And kids need both parents, even if they only have a sliver of communication. Who knows what the future will bring.
