The MC you saw was speaking from her experience, not from her knowledge of your life situation. Don't be discouraged by that. You will have conflicting advice. Only you have the knowledge and power to make your decisions.
Your wife is likely noticing your changes but she probobly does not trust them.
I would avoid focusing on any timeline for resolution of these problems. Any time will seem too long. It is a bit cliche, but the problems did not come up overnight and they wont go away overnight. But, on the other hand, with concerted effort and conciousness, you can make real progress on your end of things ever single day.
Right now, get yourself into counseling. Find a counselor that you are comfortable with. Focus on your issues. IMHO, I would not invite your wife to attend MC if she would be going simply to figure out how to bring closure. You need counseling for you. Make no secret that you are in IC and make it clear that at some point you would be interested in MC.
You have made some great steps forward with your life. Keep it up!
