Here's my story..midlife crisis/infidelity

[Awoken]

Yesterday, I was just about to give you that link, but Ready2Change had already posted it here for you. I got a lot out of that thread! We're lucky for all the support here, aren't we?

I imagine he spends most of his time thinking about OW. Who could possibly be so great as to take this man away from his children?

I know it's tough, but the less you worry about what he is thinking the better off you will be. Who knows what he is thinking. It's so strange how much in common the WAS's (and the LBS) have with each other, the so called script behavior. You H is in fog, weather it's MLC or not.

I have started thinking about my life when he is gone.

Good! Try to imagine what your best life would be like, without H. There are lots of things possible for JanuaryGirl! I've only now started to see a positive alternative to my life without W, and it really helps. Of course it's sad. It's ironic too that understanding the positive side of a D, that truly letting of my wayward spouse, is so much better than my clinging and worry about my M.

I just don't see myself standing there on the other side many times...other times I do.

I worry about this too: the amount of detachment it takes to deal with the sitch is so painful and leaves me not sure I even want to stay married. I waver back and forth just like you describe. I think this is one of the reasons patience is so important. Take care of each day, and accept that whatever the outcome, you are gonna be a better person for it.