As for the kids, I made my h tell them right from the get-go that this was his decision, that he was unhappy (he added that it was the marriage made him unhappy), and that he didn't love me anymore.
If he turns around and marries his OW (which he may or may not, and since he's a commitment phobe it may never happen), then he would appear to like being married, and he certainly likes many of its perks.
If I tell them that Dad isn't happy, but it's within himself, do you think a 10 year old will get it? (She was also the one who came back from the movie Where the Wild Things are, and said the moral of the s tory was you can't run away from your problems and eventually you have to come home, and when her dad emailed to ask about the movie, she said it's too complicated to explain, dad, you will just have to go see it yourself, so maybe they're more perceptive than I give them credit for.)
Anyway I do digress.
As one friend of mine says, you can't fight a rearguard action, and you cannot control what he will say to them. All you can do is move forward and make sure that the home you create is one of light, love, contentment as a stark contrast to the "darkness" in which he lives.
Be not transformed by this world, but by the renewal of your mind, proving the will of God what's good, acceptable, perfect. Paraphrased from Romans 12:1-2
