Question

[awest1217]

Thanks Lucky! Today has been a little better day because I haven't broken down completely yet, but my heart hurts and I am not able to eat much. I feel sick when I eat and sick when I don't... It just makes me sick to think I am hurting so bad and I am sure H isn't thinking about it at all (I know he might be, but not the same as I am). It bugs me even more that he won't answer my simple questions. All I want is an answer. That is all I have ever wanted...why is that so hard?

I know you understand and probably get it more than I do since you are already past a year mark.

I agree with you that H has something wrong with him. Since the end of November/beginning of December, H has been getting migraines again. They have been about once a week if not twice. The doctor said if that happens he should go back in because there could be something else wrong and they would need to do more tests. I have known H from high school, through college, and into adulthood, and this is not him. He might divorce me, but he wouldn't act this way. I really think there is a possibility something else is wrong. I forgot to tell his friend this yesterday when I contacted her so I am going to let her know so if he says anything about it, she can maybe encourage him to go back to the doctor.

Everything is so messed up. I was really hoping for the best and that he would come home...(it is snowing, Christmas, and now he has to start paying rent where he is)...all of these things he said would come home before they happened and he hasn't. I just need to move on...it just hurts so bad to go through this all again.