Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

I will certainly stay in touch, one because I still need it. This is my only outlet and only place for advice and second, if it helps someone else, even better.

Here's the update over the past 16 or so hours.
W got home late, I already had kids in bed. She had called to let me know she was close to coming home, so I had dinner ready for both of us.
I followed instructions and stopped texting and didn't lead with any physical moves/interaction. There was no physical interaction when she came home. We ate and talked and talked some more. Very peaceful but it was obvious to me that she was dealing with the situation much better than the night before. She even compared it to the last suicide she dealt with and this one easier on her because she didn't know the person as well. So W is doing very well.
There was no talk of OM or the fact that I TM the ILY or any of that. The only thing that came close was her telling me of a completely different situation she heard about today that turned out badly that involved a man texting someone other than his wife and the fallout from that. She looked up at me and said something along the lines of you're thinking nothing good comes from texting like that. I didn't bite. I simply said I wasn't going to say a thing about the texting. She said but you were thinking it. I said actually I wasn't thinking about that. not sure if she believed me, and not sure I was actually telling the truth, but I didn't want to appear weak nor drive a conversation about the OM. Its eating at me enough not knowing if they are still e-mailing and not knowing if she got rid of the pay as you go phone she told me about and said she was getting rid of. I knew where that phone was and was keeping tabs, and the battery had been dead and uncharged since she told me about it, but now it is gone. So she either threw it away or moved it to use again.

She pulled out her computer to do work which is often followed by her leaving to gain some privacy/space. Not last night, she just stayed right there next to me and there was no tension in the air. We talked on and off as she went thru work and I did my own thing and picked up the house when not talking.
When it was time for bed, I was expecting no physical contact again because she seemed to be doing so well. For the first couple of minutes, nothing. Then all of sudden, she moves over towards me and lays her head down on my chest and eventually falls asleep that way with me gently holding her. Not as "close" or "needy" as the night before when she wanted to be held real close, but still an interesting development. Before she dropped the bomb, this was a pretty normal/routine occurrence. Since then, only twice before - once when she was trying to figure out how much I knew about her and OM and was playing me, the other time was Xmas Eve, and now 2 night in a row.

This morning, pretty normal routine stuff, until I came in to say goodbye. She was just getting out of the shower so I debated even saying goodbye because over the past couple of months, she is completely uncomfortable being undressed around me and practically runs/hides. Not this morning. She even talked to me as she was getting ready, turned only slightly away. Then when I said I had to leave now, she came up to me and iniated a long hug.

Lastly, she had asked me to pick up some things for her and to text her before I did in case she thought of something else. I TM her and let her know I was going to pick up the items she needs. Her reply surprised me: "Thank you, you've been wonderful"

So now what is my best approach to the situation and best strategy. I'm not real sure. I have to remind myself not to get too anxious, not to push things, take it slow. But I also guess that now isn't the right time to keep detaching. Not sure. Looking for expert advice on where to go from here.

One last note is that she will probably attend the funeral which will involve a short trip (will have to take plane to get there)...so she'll be completely on her own for a couple of days, very easy to contact OM while on the trip.