Moving back in

[DDogs]

I'm not certain if that was pursuing..

pursuing? dont you think you are messing with your wife's head?

let see... you move back into the house after months of separation. without discussion none-the-less. kick her out of her bed, and invade her privacy. then go out on a date and post pictures of your arm around another woman on the Internet knowing she is going to look at it. Your conversations pretty much scuk, your wife is pissed as hell at you and you are making her deal with her own phone bill and insurance. "W comes home and is back to the 1 or 2 word answers." and your best response advice is:
"I'm sorry that you feel that way"
"I can understand why you may feel that way"
"I decided....."

ahhh? get the finger yet?

SMcQ: Thanks for your 2x4 take on my sitch, the way you spell it out, yes, I can see that... What I am trying to do is to GAL, and take charge of my life, thus the moving back in, reclaiming the marital bed, making the W responsible for her bills/debts. I should have done this at the onset but I didn't. I'm trying to correct that. I thought that was part of the tough love, boundaries, maning up and not being wimpy.

As for putting the pic up, in hindsight, that may have been over the top. That was my reponse to an night out the W had with her GF a few weeks ago. W told me that she and her GF went out drinking and dancing and mentioned that she danced with a few of the guys there. There were also a few nights out with the GF that W returned about 4am as well,, so she is going out, partying and dancing.

As for messing with my head, I'm pissed and angry that I moved out believing we were each working on ourselves for a better R when W was intending on D the entire time...

Then you ask her to go to a couple retreat "specifically designed for couples exactly like us."

TALK ABOUT MIXED SIGNALS

I was nice, positive, pleasant, and definitely gave off the vibe that I am moving on with my life

did you give off that vibe, when you were lving alone? How much dating did you do prior to moving back home? why is it important to advertise it now?

When I was living alone, I spent a lot of time with my kids. I dated a bit but I don't feel that I was giving off that GAL vibe... Honestly, a lot was going thru my head at the time and I was scared/sad about what was happenimg to the R..

It seems now that I'm home my confidence level is up and my esteem as well, and after writing this I'm now realizing that may feel as rubbing it in to her..which is what I do not want to do....it just felt so damn good feeling the "control" shift away from the w and to me, seeing her now put in crisis mode to think about the situation away from "fairyland".... a dose of reality

I think after some thought on this my best course of action should be to return to continue to be civil/friendly, appearing happy/pleasant, acting "as if", and put my attention towards my kids...