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Robx,

I see where you are coming from. Thanks for taking the time and helping me. I have gotten a lot more assertive. I didn't let that 6:45 wake up call go by without telling her that she was being disrespectful. I don't let her get away with that $hit anymore. You had me pegged from the start.

There are a number of really HOT women after me now. I am interested in a few of them. That is what has me concerned. If I go down that road, I may burn this bridge to what I really want: a reconciliation. I have stooped to her level. Isn't that what she wants? It would vindicate her actions.

If she doesn't change herself tho.... Would I be able to live with a reconciliation? She hasn't spoken my LL in 13 years either. I know I'm not 100% to blame here. I just want to work on my part.


Me:49
W: 41
Kids=D14/D14/S10
Married: 15
Together: 16
Bomb: 08/26/09
Currently: separated but in the different houses.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Originally Posted By: Tridoc
There are a number of really HOT women after me now. I am interested in a few of them. That is what has me concerned. If I go down that road, I may burn this bridge to what I really want: a reconciliation. I have stooped to her level. Isn't that what she wants? It would vindicate her actions.


Catty moment...

Let me guess, they're nurses? LoLoLoL


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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You let her get away with hitting you once. You shouldn't have. But let her know it is not happening again. She makes a move to hit you and you call the police and file charges. This is no way to live.

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I don't know what state you live in. But if it is one that has adultery as grounds for divorce, then she may be hoping that you will have an affair. You could be playing right into her hands.

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Yeah, Nurses and some are female athletes in the community. I'm not really proud of it, I just know that I will be alright if I get a D. But mindfull, I don't want to go there. I want my wife! I think she's HOT.


Me:49
W: 41
Kids=D14/D14/S10
Married: 15
Together: 16
Bomb: 08/26/09
Currently: separated but in the different houses.
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 153
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Lotus,

She will never hit me again! I live in a no-fault state. Doesn't matter.


Me:49
W: 41
Kids=D14/D14/S10
Married: 15
Together: 16
Bomb: 08/26/09
Currently: separated but in the different houses.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Doc, read my post after Rob's long one, in case you missed it. It's relevant w/regards to confrontation, etc...


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
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Originally Posted By: Tridoc
I don't want to go there. I want my wife! I think she's HOT.


I don't care if she's hot. What you described is assault, and is unacceptable.

And no, don't go pursuing other women while you are still married. You're correct that your wife would certainly use it against you.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
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Doc, sorry if my last post was flippant. This is her crap not yours. Now that you are aware of your issues, you are doing a charateristically superb job of dealing with your issues. We have to tell ourselves this over and over again that our spouses have to make choices about facing thier problems. We cannot do it for them, no matter how hard we want to or try to. Moving away from the habit of assuming responsibility for her problems is healthy for you, for your kids, your wife and, ultimately, your relationship.

You can't help a patient unless the show up at the ED first. You also couldn't help them if you didn't have the skills and training to know how to appropriately help the patient. W is the same. She has to show up. If we are healthy and they show up, then there are things we can do to help.

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Doc, you are playing with fire in relationships with other women. You are feeding your ego in a dangerous way that is contrary to your stated intentions. My advise would be to back off. Hope I can take my own advise.

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