Awest, I am so sorry that you are hurting so much right now. There is no reason to 2x4 you b/c I think you've already punished yourself enough. We are human and for the good or for the bad we have intense emotions that we act on sometimes. Don't beat yourself up over being human. I haven't posted as much either, but for me too, after so much hope from an awesome New Years together, H has gone back to his old hurtful ways. It hurts that much worse after spending intentense time together and really feeling like you are going somewhere together. I had him him and now he is gone again and it is very lonely. I just say this to let you know I understand. Even though we are just like far away pen pals, I just wanted to let you know I'm here to support you. Every hour you make it thru is a success, so just keep striving to hold on to the good in your life to pull you thru this difficult time - S, your family, maybe even some of your students. And if you don't ever post on here again, I truely wish you the best in life. We will all get thru this at some point (with or without our H's) and some day we WILL discover happiness again. That's easy to forget, but a good reminder for us all. Good luck Awest!
(On a side note, regarding H's transformation to a "monster", I understand that more than anyone. I watched H's depression transform him and destroy him, our marriage, and our life. There's a great book that I've been reading called "Change your Brain, Change your Life" by Dr. Amen. It's just interesting on how sometimes people who are classified as 'bad people' are really just dealing with over or underactive parts of their brain that truely affect their behavior/personality and what you can do about it. You're probably not here right now, but just something to keep in mind for the future. Good luck!)
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
