"I have made the mistake of letting my bf think that he is pleasing me, if I wouldnt do this, then maybe he would try different things. I brought this part on myself. I have made him think he is the greatest."
Well, yes. You aren't at all in a position to have a satisfying, authentic, genuinely intimate sex life. You are faking and lying throughout the sex act.
Write him a caring email telling him that you have been faking pretty much all (or all) your orgasms. Tell him also that you are not interested in a LTR that does not include a satisfying and genuinely intimate sex life.
But, I don't see why you don't end the R. BF seems comfortable using you as he wishes for an occasional sexual release and does not seem to give your wishes any weight. Pretty much of a non-starter to me. Of course, perhaps he believes that he is giving your wishes plenty of weight as you've consistently lied and deceived him regarding your sexual satisfaction. Thus, this takes us back to first getting honest about your orgasms.
Yes, I know what a bind it is to have been faking orgasms. I know it is hard to come clean. But it is necessary for a healthy sex life and healthy R.
As for porn, why do you think BF has a porn addiction? Many men masturbate daily. They still want sex. I really think that you need to confront the fact that this guy is not the partner that you need, rather than look for excuses for an already horribly poor sex life in porn and masturbation.
