Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[antlers]

Good mornin' SDFoundGirl.

What you post to me is helpful.

It's hard not to take it personal when it's your own kid. I believe you; and I can see how it would be easier to not take it personal when it's your students. But when my own kids lash out at me like they do, especially my son, it hurts...and it's hard to not take it personal. It makes me feel like a failure as a parent. Is it not personal when my own kids lash out at me?

I will check out the book. Thanks. My son turned into a demon this morning while getting ready to leave for school. Nothing in particular happened either. And on the way to school this morning, he was just as mean as he could be...lashing out at me for everything he could think of.

I have a 13 y/o daughter too, so maybe the teen book would be helpful too.

I was feeling pretty good, we had a pretty good night last, but this morning he got mean, beligerent, and disrespectful. Talking to him does no good. It just pisses him off. Keep in mind my past behavior...angry, resentful, and abusive. Actions do speak louder than words, and I'm not sure how to handle this. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is not respond to this type of behavior from him at all...you can't reason with someone when they're pissed...and after he calms down, just tell him what you told me the other day..."it's not OK for you to talk to your dad like that". What do you think?

I do not want to self-flagellate anymore...but it sure makes you feel like a parental failure when your kids treat you this way.

I know I can't change the past...but I still want to 'fix' it. I know it's over and done with...but I still care about my W and family. I do know better now, and I'm doing better...but I'm having a different kind of trouble with my kids now that is a source for a lot of pain. I can't change them, but I can change me, and I can change the way I interact with them. I don't have anymore control over their thoughts, feelings, or actions than I do over those of their mother! But it's a painful situation nonetheless.

My son is so full of angst. I told him I loved him this morning on the way to school, while he was lashing out at me...and it pissed him off!

Your expertise is really appreciated.