I truly hate myself I truly hate my life I just don't enjoy my life at all, I truly hate it I hate coming home alone every other week
I will admit that I do truly feel this way sometimes. But I also realize that when I start feeling this way, I have to find a way to pull myself out of it. And it is in all honesty because this is not how I envisioned my life going. It was ripped apart mostly by my doing. Not all, but a good part of it. And for that reason, I find myself hating my own self at times because of the mistakes that I made that caused a lot of this situation for myself and my kids and the other factor.
It is an emotion that I am aware that I have to defeat by improving my life and finding joy, yet security and stableness and hope for a good future by working at things I have never had to work at before in changing me from within.
It takes daily work to refocus myself. It is very easy to fall back into dispair at times. It takes work to keep from letting that happen. At times I fall into it anyways.
I am still mulling over a beneficial education that I would enjoy that would also pay off in the long run.
D7's birthday is coming up on the 15th of this month. She is excited about it and talking about it.
Kevin
Last edited by K4D; 01/06/1002:59 PM.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
