NC with wife for one week

[GoBison]

I received an email from wife last night. I had asked her to go to Retro prior to finishing up paperwork and going to mediation. Below is her response to that request and my reply. Part of the reason that I want to go is so that we can start to get past somethings when we do D. Which I think will happen and will also help if reconcilation after the D is to take place. I have also tried to not be angry with her during this but I have almost no respect left for her. What I said to her was probably anti-DB but it was all true. I also had to be careful in wording what I said to her since she is trying to go to the judge to tell them I am dragging things out. To her me dragging things out is not signing what she wants. I am still waiting for mediation to be scheduled with the lawyers.

Sorry I haven't responded....been very very busy at work.
But I am not going to do the retreat this weekend based on the
disagreements and the overall reason that I am going. I do want
things to get done quickly and respectfully and I do know that this
would not help me in any aspect of my decisions. I am also not
trying to be a jerk...I really do want to be civil about this and
get this done as quickly and as smooth as possible. If you want to
sit down and talk about the seperation of things, I am willing to do
that and get it over with sooner. In addition, I think we should
start thinking about what we want to do with the house and realtors,
etc. Lastly, when you cancel your membership at Gym, please
have them call me so they can swithch it to my card. I tried to do
this already, but because your the main name on the account I was
unable to do this. Any problems with Gym give me a call.

My reply:

The reason for the weekend was so that we could move beyond our
disagreements and work everything out respectfully and move on with
our lives without resentment. Half of the people that are going don't
want to be there. I have asked very little from you during this whole
thing. I do not feel at this point that we can sit down and get rid of
everything without some sort of harsh feelings. The weekend is not a
miracle "cure" or anything it just allows us to communicate better and
to move on with our lives. There will be things and times after the
divorce is final that we will still have to work together and see each
other. I would rather get the bad feelings behind us now instead of
carrying them with us. Like I said before 98% of the people that
divorced after this weekend were still glad they went so that they
both could heal from this. The weekend is not to blame each other and
there is no pressure either way on to divorce or not. I truly believe
that after the weekend we will be able to discuss everything with a
lot less hostility and emotional baggage. I believe that at that point
we will be able sit down and discuss things respectfully.

If you are unwilling to go that is fine. But I believe what is best
for me and my future is to work through my lawyer.

I will let you know what they say at Gym.