Another Sad Deployed Soldier/Dad

[Another_Soldier]

Well last night was kind of rough for me i tried to go wihtout contacting W and waiting to see if she would actually make first contact. Well I couldn't go to bed last night without telling W ILU and miss her and the kids.
**I stated earlier that i made contact with OM and told him that he needed to just stay away and she found out. When i woke this morning there was a message that said she wasn't happy with what i had done and said i keep pushing and pushing and asked if this $hit was ever going to stop with me. I broke.... I just broke and told her that i just feel like i am fighting to keep my family together and fighting for my M and happiness. I told her that I had a bad feeling about the guy and don't trust him because I being 10,000miles away like he could try to intrude again and i didn't want him to do so.

I feel like i really messed up and now feel worse than i have since all of this has come to light. It's hard because the signals i get from her are so "f"ing confusing. I can't tell every time i talk to her if i am pushing or pulling.

uggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrr

I thought of not contacting for the next few days but don't think i can do it i don't think that i am strong enough to not contact, plus i have to call the little ones in a day or so. There was no response to that last part i told her and it kind of worries me....

3ft from the edge